Author: Aliza Puri, She’s the First Youth Ambassador

Editor’s Note: Aliza wrote this poem as a letter to the world from every girl who has been abused, who finds it hard to come forward and ask for justice because she is too scared and embarrassed—until she decides to fight for herself.

Dear World,
I would ask you, “How are you?”
But I know you are not fine
You cannot hear the pleas
You cannot see the tears
And you cannot feel the pain
Of my sisters
Who are humiliated, exploited, and tortured for their existence

And please don’t ask me
“How I am”
Because then I would say
“I am fine”
Without meaning to
Because that’s what I was taught to do
Right from my childhood

I was told to be
Patient, humble and kind
I was told
Not to think too much
I was told to remain silent
Even when I don’t like anybody’s touch
My hands were tied by your “False morale”
Which is somehow only applicable to gals
When all I wanted to punch the person
Who dared to hit me with/without a reason
My lips were sealed with “politeness”
When I wanted to shout “you are wrong”
When I wanted to raise my voice
To make my own choice

You made me fear
To seek justice
You made me feel
There’s no hope
You made me feel guilty
For taking care of myself

Dear world,
But then maybe
I won’t say “I am fine”
Because I am not

After years of silence and politeness
After years of being humble and kind
Now, I don’t have the patience
To tolerate the injustice and exploitation
I don’t have the big heart that you expect me to possess
The heart that kept all of its
Pain, worries, and desires within itself

I won’t be silent anymore
Because I have realized that
I have nothing to lose except for myself
And I am too precious to be lost

Dear world,
As I tell you these things
All I ever expect from you is to listen

Just listen to the pleas and cries
of my sister across the world
and you will know the depth of their pain

I don’t expect you to fight for me
I don’t need you to fight my demons
I am more than able to do that
But as I fight this battle
Please just stand by me
Don’t silence my cries
Don’t tell me to hide my tears
Don’t highlight my fears
Don’t tie my hands when they
Are seeking justice
Just stand by me
And support me

Because it has taken me days and months and years
To realize my worth
To realize that
I have the right to be free from these exploitations
That had started to feel like an heirloom
Passed down from generation to generations
It has taken me years to realize
That my battles are worth fighting for
It has taken me years to build the courage
To come to you and ask for
The justice that I deserve
Without any judgment and fear 

Therefore, just stand by me

Dear world,
I don’t know if you can hear me or not
But I won’t stop speaking and shouting and fighting this battle
I will fight this battle
With or against you
And I promise you
I will win

Aliza Puri, 19, is a 2021 graduate of Kopila Valley School, a She’s the First partner organization in Nepal. She’s a member of the first cohort of STF Youth Ambassadors, a group of girl advocates who amplify girls’ rights issues and make sure STF’s voice and communications are girl-centered. Outside of She’s the First, Aliza is working with her fellow Youth Ambassador Sirjana Singh to launch a soccer camp for underserved girls in their community who have never had access to sports!

Header image by Amy Humphries on Unsplash