By Desiree Okonkwo, 15, United States
I used to agree and accede,
As they laughed because the teacher turned off the lights,
Giggle and sniffle while tears formed in my eyes,
Embarrassment forever fortified in my mind,
I used to mumble and mutter,
Watching them rip my culture to shreds,
Mocking my family’s accents as they shook their heads,
Inescapable humiliation bound around me like thread,
I used to whisper and whither,
My hands reaching for a straightener at an awful attempt,
At the role of “white girl” that I only achieved when I dreamt,
Depravedly desperate for any skin whitening bleach,
My immense ignominy a life-sized leech,
I used to resent and recoil from my reflection,
Contempt created by my colored complexion,
Nails digging in as I hurriedly scrubbed at my skin,
As if I could scrape away the black to unlock the white within
Playing a game supplied by shame I could never win
I used to detest, but now I accept,
Bewitched by my brown color with a bit of remorse and regret
That I ever allowed myself to be so miserable misled,
That I ever viewed my home and heritage with horrid hatred,
That I ever believed racist rhetoric that was said and spread,
But worst of all, that I ever assumed that my blackness could make me less than.